I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
