We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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