I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
