I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
