where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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