shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
