When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize