third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
