he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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