he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
