What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
