and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
They took my balls.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
