And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize