That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
You need a sexual gate keeper
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Randomize
