Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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