Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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