took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Randomize
