he puts the penis in happiness.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
it glows. i had to have it.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I just sucked dick on a ferry
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