They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
