I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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