i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
