Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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