Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
