I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I think weed is turning my hair brown
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
