How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
