she takes plan B like it's going out of style
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
