this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
