so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
