I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
