I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Randomize
