the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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