we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
he laminated a picture of his dick.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
