The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
