we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
