Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
