small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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