the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
