WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
