No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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