I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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