Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
