Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
