physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
