I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
We just shotgunned beers for America
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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