Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
40s are totally the cure
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
