Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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