My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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