KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
