I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
