i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
