I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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