so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
