I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
