I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
