if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Help. Why am I so naked?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize