She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
