sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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