What a fucking waste of an outfit
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
