Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
