i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
How naked do you want me to be?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
