Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize
