Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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