6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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