I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
