plz talk dirty to me
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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