I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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