If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
