There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
