She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
