i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
