His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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