He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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